After she left
by AhsokaAndNyx
Summary: Ahsoka had a hard time after she left, she has now lost her trust in everybody around her, and pushes people who want to get close to her away in fear of them betraying her, but what happens when she has visions of Darth Sidious? She no longer thinks happiness lasts, so why bother with it? self harm warning
1. Her Visions

She walked down the steps that's all she remembered. She just kept walking in a haze, not thinking about anything, of she did, she would cry again.

when she came out of her haze, she was at an elevator, she got in it, she considered going to padme's or riyo's, but she didn't want to see anakin, and she didn't know if she could trust riyo right now.

_'Enough of that', _she thought, she needed to prioritize right now, she needed food and shelter, for that she would need a job. She decided she would probably have better luck finding one in the underworld.

So that's where she went.

As she walked through the underworld, she noticed people staring at her, more than usual, she figured it wasn't because they recognized her, because it was only men, after realizing what was happening she thought she needed an outfit change.

After a bit of searching she found a shop that didn't look like it was a gang front, she found a black high low dress that covered her throat, arms and some of her legs, she kept her leggings through.

She started thinking about her job options, she couldn't become a mechanic because she didn't have a degree, she could either be a waitress or secretary, she thought about the police precinct, and thought that it might be nice to be a secretary to detectives, she knew she would see coursanti police, and that thought filled her with dread, but she needed a job.

She found a precinct that needed a secretary on the holonet, and went over, when she first walked in and saw the police, she fought down the urge to run, and walked up to the front desk where she asked about the job offer

The man looked bored, but he told her to go to the 4th floor, and go to Gina's desk right next to the captain's office, her heart beat faster at the word captain, but she didn't let it show, she went to the lift without a word.

_I'm being ridiculous, i can't let single words get to me now_, she thought bitterly. She found the woman named Gina, a white human woman with brown hair and hazel eyes and asked for the job offer, Gina yelled "sarge, go interview her", without looking up from her datapad, the Sargent, who introduced himself as Sargent Terry Jefferds, was a large muscular kuribian, took her to the break room.

He asked her a lot of questions and she filled out a form, and after lying about her age saying she was 18, lying about her name saying it was Serenei shan, she was hired. But then he said "oh I forgot to ask, what's your mail address, for work events?" She panicked but quickly came up with a lie, saying that she was having problems at home and didn't currently have on. But he got a shocked and pity filled expression on his face, ahsoka was immediately on gaurd, _do not let people into your heart, then they can't hurt you_ she thought to herself, but she was pulled out of her thoughts as he told her "well you can stay here, in the break room, we got a couch, a vending machine and a table, it'll be fine until you figure things out," she faked a smile and said her thanks, not trusting this man in the slightest.

Plo koon

Ahsoka was gone. His foundling who he had cherished like a daughter, had left and he knew he would have to break the news to his secret paramour, shaak ti when she got back from kamino in a few days, shaak ti, whom had regarded ahsoka as a daughter as well would miss her as much as him. But for now, he could mourn and regret in silence.

Shaak Ti

Shaak Ti kept her composure when she was told of what had happened, to her credit. But behind closed doors she was holding in a scream, not wanting to draw the attention of her clone escorts. Her daughter of the Hunt was gone. Never wanting to see them again, all she could

do was cry silently.


	2. Stressed

Ahsoka

it has only been two weeks since she got her job, but she was already at her breaking point, she was angry at the officers, when ever one wanted to talk to her she made fun of and snapped at them, some of the detectives wanted to get to know her, and she pushed them away by making them hate her. She didn't joke around laughing anymore, she was now cold and cruel. She finally learned her lesson, anyone can betray anyone, (quote from Red Queen) and she wasn't taking chances. Besides even if they didn't betraye her, she knew happiness didn't last, so why bother with it?

One day, she decided she'd had enough, she left the precinct and everyone in it, and started walking. She knew exactly where she was going, to a homeless shelter, on another level on coursesant, she momentarily bared her fangs, like some of her species did, once she realized that it was directly under the jedi temple, but calmed herself down knowing that it was several levels below.

When she walked in, she noticed some of the lights were flickering, and a middle aged woman at a desk who looked very tired. "oh hello, are you stastaying with us for tonight?" she greeted "yes" she told her, "alright, you get this care package for tonight, it has, a toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, toiletries, and socks" she smiled and said "thank you".

She showed me to the women's side and had Ahsoka pick a bed and set her stuff down, and went to sleep, lying to herself, saying it would be better in the morning.

Plo

plo went back to the field after a few days, he needed to get back to work now or he never would. He knew Wolffe felt guilty about his part in her capture, but would heal eventually, for plo on the other hand, heal would take a little longer.

Shaak

Shaak had to go back to kamino after a few days, and she had to pretend nothing was wrong, but she kept herself busy with her clone sons, and she prayed for her daughter.


	3. decisions

**AHSOKA**

ahsoka woke up in a panic

_where was she? where was her master? why wasn't she at the temple?_

Then it all came back to her. The rush of memories brought tears to her eyes. She was in a disgusting and small apartment on couresont, she had learned some very valuable skills in the underworld, like how to steal and how to lie, who could be a potential ally and who you had to watch. She also learned how to fake ID's and credit chips.

Ahsoka focused on the nightmare that woke her up, if she could call it that. She knew that it was a vision, she'd been having them for weeks now. They were getting worse, and she had no idea on what to do.

Cutting wasn't helping anymore, that didn't mean she would stop, but still now her problems were getting worse.

She contemplated calling her master, but she heard on the holonet that him and master obi-wan were just sent of on a mission and wouldn't be back for a while, but she also heard on the holonet that master plo was back.

_But can I really trust him? _she thought bitterly. _He didn't trust her_

These thoughts were making her cchest ache so she stopped

she could decide later


End file.
